There’s so many versions of this floating around I don’t know who to attribute it to. I just find it funny and since I have nothing else today I hope it gives you a chuckle as well. -Bob
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.


God bless us all, everyone, or not.
I wish you a godless fear free holiday season.
Kindly accept my wishes of appreciation, in a non-gender-specific, nonthreatening and culturally non-specific but inclusive manner which places no specific creed or culture above any of the others.
Ah, the warmth.
Thanks Bob! It’s great, whoever wrote it. Truly impossible to express yourself without offending someone.