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Hollywood … Low-Hanging Fruit

To a skeptic, Hollywood is like a candy store. The most cursory of internet searches will reveal that the culture of Hollywood is infused with paranormal beliefs. As part of my never-ending SGU show prep, each week I take a look towards “Tinseltown” to see which celebrity happens to be making a total ass out of themselves at that particular moment in time. Sure it is low-hanging fruit, but just because the tree blossoms a certain way doesn’t mean we shouldn’t partake of the juicy treats.

Two of the favorite flavors of paranormal out there are ghosts and psychics. ‘Celebrity Ghost Stories’ is a hit TV show, with no shortage of actors and celebrities coming forward to tell their story about how they were afraid of shadows and bumps-in-the-night when they were 9 years old.

Psychics and celebrities seem to almost go hand in hand. These people seem to have been designed for each other. I can’t help but wonder if psychics would be as popular in our culture if famous people did not embrace such nonsense. Seriously, would we know who James Van-Praagh, or John Edward, or Sylvia Brown are if it were not for the likes of famous personalities such as Ted Danson, or Larry King, or Oprah Winfrey?

Anyway, the winner of this past week’s “Hollywood Paranormal Dupe” award has to be given to Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan has made big headlines in the last few days. She punched a woman in the face at a bar, and a judge might rule that Lohan is in violation of her probation. (If you don’t already know, and you have a morbid curiosity, just look online for her history of bad behavior.)

But Wait! … the victim of Lohan’s wrath is none other than Tiffany Ava Mitchell. Have you ever heard of Tiffany Ava Mitchell?

Of course you haven’t. She’s one of these “psychic to the celebrities”, one of (seemingly) hundreds of psychics whom claim to be the psychic of some celebrity ( … just for once, I’d like to see a psychic profess that they are a psychic to some other class - “psychic to the barbers” or “psychic of the ballroom dancers”. That would be refreshing. But I digress…)

Here are some reported “facts” on this psychic no one has ever heard of until she was punched by Ms. Lohan:

- Mitchell owns a chain of psychic reading businesses in West Palm Beach, Fla., including “Ava’s Psychic Visions.”

- She specializes in readings through tarot cards, palms and psychic energy.

- It is reported that she tried to charge a client $43,000 to cleanse their aura (client called the cops and the cops said they couldn’t do anything about it.)

- She has retained famous “lawyer to the celebrities” Gloria Alred to represent her.

So that’s it … this obscure self-proclaimed “psychic” has been elevated to the front pages of both the tabloids and mainstream media for being the punching bag of a Hollywood actress with a rap sheet as long as her freckled arm. It does not matter what happens from here on out – Mitchell’s business and career is about to take off!  

And as predicted by me (ha!) no one along the way is questioning the existence of psychic abilities. Can’t let science or reality get in the way of the culture of stupid, can we? For example, take this headline from The Huffington Post on the matter:

“Tiffany Ava Mitchell: Lindsay Lohan Alleged Victim is a Psychic, Offered Actress Free Reading Before Assault”

How about this instead, HuffPo editors … 

Tiffany Ava Mitchell: Lindsay Lohan Victim is an Alleged Psychic, Offered Actress Free Alleged Reading Before Assault

MUCH better, in my humble opinion. My headline is entirely accurate. 

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