Geller’s Latest Imaginary Adventure

Oh Uri, are there any limits to your imagination?

The Wall Street Journal reports on Uri Geller’s latest claim is that there is buried treasure on an island that he owns. Not just any treasure – Egyptian relics, brought to the island by the daughter of a Pharaoh some 3500 years ago.

Read the whole article, but here are some of my favorite lines from the story:

Mr. Geller was once one of the most famous people in the world in the 1970s, regularly appearing on television and baffling audiences with his spoon-bending exploits.

I love the deservedly condescending tone of that line.

Some say the alignment of the Lamb and two nearby islands closely mirrors the layout of the pyramids at Giza, near Cairo, not to mention the three main stars in the Orion’s Belt constellation.

Chalk one up there for pattern recognition!

“Tosh!” says Edinburgh-based historian and author Stuart McHardy.

Tosh! I love it! I have to use that on the podcast sometime.

“Before Uri came along I don’t think anybody had ever heard of all this Egyptian stuff,” says 55-year-old Drew McAdam.

No surprise there.

Some Scots best know the Israeli-born Mr. Geller, who lives in England, for claiming to determine the outcome of a Scotland versus England soccer match in 1996 by using his telekinetic powers to nudge the ball just as Scotland’s captain was about to strike a penalty kick. Scotland lost the game.

Tosh! I say.

Using dowsing—a technique Mr. Geller says he previously used to detect oil deposits in the Gulf of Mexico—he reckons he has pin-pointed a place on his island where treasure might be buried.

Translation: Utilizing a long-ago discarded method of self-deception, and sucking off of all of the recent media attention given to events in The Gulf of Mexico, Geller claims he will be directed to a place where his imaginary treasure is buried.

“He might like to talk to our Council archaeologist about whether it would be worth his time and energy,” says Rob Sinclair at the local council’s planning department.

What? Uri dirty himself with science and evidence? Have you just met this man for the first time Mr. Sinclair?

The last paragraph reads:

And if there wasn’t any treasure on the Lamb before, there is now. Mr. Geller says he has strengthened the island’s mystical powers by burying a crystal orb that once belonged to Albert Einstein.

A PERFECT way to end any article having to do with Uri Geller … you drive home the point with the most absurd notion of them all.

The imagination of Uri Geller knows no bounds.