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Shopping For Possessions

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7 comments to Shopping For Possessions

  • Slarty


    Why did my parents instil those bloody moral values in me?

    Let’s see.

    1x doll from Toys-r-us = £5
    1x entry on ebay = £0.50
    1x fleeced punter = priceless.

    Would someone please let me know how to build in some cognitive dissonance so that I can sell some cheap dolls for a fortune and ignore that troublesome conscience?

  • “This auction is for a rare and vintage General Electric wall clock that hung in the lobby of a hotel that had been converted into housing for the ederly back in 1984.

    A fire broke out and caused 8 senior citizens to jump to their deaths from the tenth floor. The clock stopped at around 1:00 am that night. It holds much residual energy of a tradgic event and is very, very haunted. Blue obrs and feelings of anguish have been felt and seen, surrounding this object. This is a very sad and lethal object of time and I strongly caution

    the person that considers owning it. If you are sensitive to feelings of dispare, pass this one up… Good luck and happy bidding! From the Edge of Time. ”

    Some of these are brilliant! Or should that be ‘tradgic’ 🙂

  • Jim Shaver

    Slarty, Slarty, Slarty…

    No one will buy your fake haunted dolls. You write in complete, legible sentences, which is a dead giveaway that you’re not a legitimate psychic person. Duh.

  • My favourite line in all of those was this, from the second-to-last:

    I believe even bidders who don’t win her will gain luck from bidding on her.

    How could we possibly go wrong?!?!

  • Traveler

    I wonder if it would be possible to con people into buying Skeptologist action figures by giving a woo-ish description about how they “impart wisdom to the owner”? Pull the string, and it quotes the definition of a logical fallacy.

  • Long time we have battled pseudoscience and mystical thinking but now STEVELLA figurine charged with skeptical energy is available to QUESTIONING MIND capable of handling its DEBUNKMENT and SCIENTIFIC METHODOLOGY.
    Rip proof nylon doctor’s smock. specify colour.

  • Slarty

    Buy now £100 + £50 p&p

    Reluctantly offering FOR SALE one Ha-gg-is voodoo doll. I have no choice but to offer to the most lucky person my Ha-gg-is receptical. It has brought me amazing SPIRITUAL luck over these millenia culminating in my gifted spirit intervention last night.

    Rhuadh the high Ha-gg-is came to me in my dream and told me that it was time. Time now to pass on this power to another mortal in the earthly realm AWAY FROM SCOTTISH HAMELAND. He said it was was to be to someone in the “Land of the big bird” which obviously means the USA as yours is the Bald-Eagle symbol and to someone who will treat the Ha-gg-is SPIRIT receptical with the due reverance and respect it NEEDS. He told me too that the RECIPIENTS would be someone who loved their mother and who had suffered in their life from the curse of death.

    Is this YOU!!!!!!!?


    Please, I beg you. The Ha-gg-is told me it wants to bring its awsome powers to you who need’s it – it has been so good to me it would be ungodly not to share in it’s fruits and it must be TO you. Please do not dissapoint yourself by by missing up the good fortune and power that the Ha-gg-is say you deserve.


    Thank you.

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